Overture
Let Me Entertain You
Some People
Small World
Baby June and Her Newsboys
Mr. Goldstone
Little Lamb
You'll Never Get Away From Me
Dainty June And Her Farmboys
If Momma Was Married
All I Need Is The Girl
Everything's Coming Up Roses
Entr'acte
Together
You Gotta Have A Gimmick
Small World (Reprise)
Incidental Music
The Strip
Rose's Turn
JOCKO
And who does Uncle Jocko have here?
Who the hell does he…?
Baby June and company?
(sigh)
Half the song, half the dance and out!
JUNE
May we entertain you
May we see you smile
I will do some kicks
LOUISE
I will do some tricks
ROSE
Sing out, Louise!
Sing out!
Who said that?
JUNE
I'll tell you a story...
LOUISE
I'll dance when she's done
JOCKO
Who said that?
Who's out there, George?
GEORGE
I don't know, I got all the mothers out of here!
Just like you told me!
JUNE & LOUISE
Are you ready to smile?
ROSE
You're behind, Louise
Catch up on it!
JUNE & LOUISE
Well, I'll try that through
Entertaining you
JOCKO
Who's that?
ROSE
Sing out, Louise!
LOUISE & JUNE
You'll love our lullaby
JOCKO
Get that mother out of here!
GEORGE
Lady...
ROSE
Anybody that stays home is dead
If I die it won't be from sitting
It will be from fighting to get up and get out!
Some people can get a thrill
Knitting sweaters and sitting still.
That's okay for some people
Who don't know they're alive.
Some people can thrive and bloom
Living life in the living room.
That's perfect for some people
Of one hundred and five.
But I at least gotta try
When I think of all the sights that I gotta see
And all the places I gotta play,
All the things that I gotta be at.
Come on, Papa, what do you say?
Some people can be content
Playing bingo and paying rent.
That's peachy for some people,
For some hum-drum people to be,
But some people ain't me!
I had a dream,
A wonderful dream, Papa,
All about June in the Orpheum circuit.
Gimme a chance and I know I can work it.
I had a dream.
Just as real as can be, Papa.
There I was in Mr. Orpheum's office
And he was saying to me, "Rose,
Get yourselves some new orchestrations,
New routines and red velvet curtains.
Get a feathered hat for the baby;
Photographs in front of the theater.
Get an agent and in jig time
You'll be being booked in the big time."
Oh, what a dream.
A wonderful dream, Papa.
And all that I need is eighty-eight bucks, Papa.
That's what he said, Papa.
Only eighty-eight bucks.
PAPA
You ain't gettin' eighty-eight cents from me, Rose.
ROSE
Well, I'll get it someplace else! But I'll get it! And get my kids out!
Goodbye to blueberry pie.
Good riddance to all the socials I had to go to,
All the lodges I had to play,
All the shriners I said hello to.
Hey, L.A. , I'm comin' your way!
Some people sit on their butts;
Got the dream, yeah, but not the guts.
That's living for some people,
For some hum-drum people I suppose.
Well, they can stay and rot!
But not Rose!
ROSE
Funny!
HERBIE
What?
ROSE
Of us!
I like you but I don't want marriage,
You like me, but you don't want show-business...
HERBIE
That seems to leave you there
And me here!
ROSE
Well, that all depends on how you look at it
You look at we don't have
I look at what we do have
Funny,
You're a stranger who's come here,
Come from another town.
Funny, I'm a stranger myself here.
Small world, isn't it?
Funny, you're a man who goes travelling
Rather than settling down.
Funny, 'cause I'd love to go travelling.
Small world, isn't it?
We have so much in common,
It's a phenomenon.
We could pool our resources
By joining forces from now on.
Lucky, you're a man who likes children.
That's an important sign.
Lucky, I'm a woman with children.
Small world, isn't it?
Funny, isn't it small and funny and fine?
Well I'm not gonna pay you much money
ROSE
Ah, you'll have to talk about money to Herbie
Are you handling alright?
HERBIE
No I can't
ROSE
Please
HERBIE
But I can't!
ROSE
Please
HERBIE
Well, I guess I am
I'll be in the office
HERBIE
We have so much in common,
It's a phenomenon.
We could pool our resources
By joining forces from now on.
HERBIE
Rose, is this act of yours any good?
ROSE
God, it's great!
And June is sensational
You wait until you see it
ROSE
Lucky, you're a man who likes children.
HERBIE
That's an important sign.
ROSE
Lucky,
ROSE & HERBIE
I'm/You're a woman with children.
Small world, isn't it?
ROSE
Funny, isn't it?
HERBIE
Isn't it?
ROSE & HERBIE
Small and funny and fine?
NEWSBOYS
Extra! Extra!
Hey, look at the headline
Historical news
Is being made
Extra! Extra!
They're drawing a red line
Around the biggest scoop
Of the decade
A barrel of charm
A fabulous thrill
The biggest little headline
In vaudeville
Presenting...in person...
That three foot three
Bundle of dynamite...
Baby...June!
BABY JUNE
Hello, everybody!
My name is June.
What's yours?
Let me entertain you
Let me make you smile
Let me do a few tricks
Some old and then
Some new tricks
I'm very versatile
And if you're real good
I'll make you feel good
I want your spirits
To climb
So let me entertain you
Oh!
And we'll have
A real good time, yes, sir!
We'll have
A real good
Time
HERBIE
Rose, this is Mr. Goldstone.
ROSE
I ask you, Mr. Goldstone,
The child has a birthday once a year
We planned a nice little party...
HERBIE
Mr. Goldstone is from the Orpheum circuit...
ROSE
There's only one eggroll and some...
HERBIE
The act is booked on the Orpheum circuit, Rose!
ROSE
Have an eggroll, Mr. Goldstone.
Have a napkin, have a chopstick, have a chair.
Have a spare rib, Mr. Goldstone.
Any spare that I can spare I'll be glad to share!
Have a dish, have a fork, have a fish, have a pork.
Put your feet up. Feel at home.
Have a smoke, have a Coke.
Would you like to hear a joke?
I'll have June recite a poem!
Have a leechie, Mr. Goldstone.
Tell me any little thing that I can do.
Ginger peachy, Mr. Goldstone.
Have a kumquat, have two!
Everybody give a cheer.
Santa Claus is sitting here.
Mr. Goldstone I love you!
Have a Goldstone, Mr. Eggroll.
Tell me any little thing that I can do.
Have some fried rice, Mr. Soy Sauce.
Have a cookie, have a few!
What's the matter, Mr. G?
Have another pot of tea.
Mr. Goldstone I love you!
There are good stones and bad stones
And curbstones and gladstones
And touchstones and such stones as them.
HERBIE
There are big stones
And small stones
And grind stones
And gall stones!
ALL
But Goldstone is a gem!
There are milestones, there are mill stones.
There's a cherry, there's a yellow, there's a blue.
But we don't want any old stone,
Only Goldstone will do!
Moon stones, sun stones.
We all scream for one stone.
Irvin Goldstone we love you!
Goldstone!
LOUISE
Little lamb, little lamb
My birthday is here at last
Little lamb, little lamb
My birthday goes by so fast
Little bear, little bear
You sit on my right right there
Little hen, little hen
What game should we play and when?
Little cat, little cat
Oh, why do you look so blue?
Did somebody paint you like that,
Or is it your birthday too?
Little fish, little fish
Do you think I'll get my wish?
Little lamb, little lamb
I wonder how old I am
I wonder how old I am
Little lamb
ROSE
You'll never get away from me.
You can climb the tallest tree.
I'll be there somehow.
True, you could say, "Hey, here's your hat."
But a little thing like that
Couldn't stop me now.
I couldn't get away from you,
Even if you told me to,
So go on and try.
Just try and you're gonna see
How you're gonna not at all
Get away from me.
HERBIE
Rose, I love you, but don't count your chickens.
ROSE
Come dance with me.
HERBIE
I warn you that I'm no Boy Scout.
ROSE
Relax awhile, come dance with me.
HERBIE
So don't think that I'm easy pickin'.
ROSE
The music's so nice.
HERBIE
Rose, 'cause I just may some day pick up and pack out.
ROSE
Oh, no you don't. No, not a chance.
No arguments, shut up and dance.
You'll never get away from me.
You can climb the tallest tree.
I'll be there somehow.
True, you could say, "Hey, here's your hat."
But a little thing like that
Couldn't stop me now.
ROSE & HERBIE
I couldn't get away from you,
Even if I wanted to.
ROSE
Well, go on and try.
Just try
HERBIE
Ah, Rose.
ROSE
And you're gonna see
HERBIE
Ah, Rose
ROSE
How you're gonna not at all
ROSE & HERBIE
Get away from me.
FARMBOYS
Extra! Extra!
Hey, look at
The headline
Historical news
Is being made
Extra! Extra!
They're drawing
A red line
Around the biggest scoop
Of the decade
A barrel of charm
A fabulous thrill
The biggest little headline
In vaudeville
Presenting
In person
That five foot two
Bundle of dynamite
Dainty... June
JUNE
Oooh!
Hello, everybody!
My name is June!
What's yours?
I have a moo cow
A new cow,
A true cow
Named Caroline
LOUISE
Moo, moo, moo, moo
JUNE
She's an extra-special
Friend of mine
LOUISE
Moo, moo, moo, moo
JUNE
I like everything
About her fine
LOUISE
Moo, moo, moo, moo
JUNE
She likes to moo in
The moonlight
When the moody moon
Appears
And when she moos in
The moonlight
Gosh, it's moosic
To my ears
She's so moosical
She loves a man cow,
A tan cow
Who can cow her
With a glance
LOUISE
Moo, moo, moo, moo
JUNE
When he winks at her
She starts to dance
LOUISE
Moo, moo, moo, moo
JUNE
It's what grown-ups call
A real romance
But if we moooved
To the city
Or we settled
By the shore
She'd make the mooove
LOUISE
Mooo...!
JUNE
'Cause she
Loves me more
FARMBOYS
Broadway
Broadway
We miss it so
We're leaving soon
And taking June
To star her in a show
Bright lights
White lights
Rhythm and romance
The train is late,
So while we wait
We're gonna do
A little dance
JUNE
Broadway
Broadway
FARMBOYS
June!
JUNE
How great you are
I'll leave the farm
With all its charm
To be a Broadway star
Bright lights
White lights
Where the neons glow
My bag is packed,
I've got my act
So all aboard,
C'mon, let's go
LOUISE
I wish Momma would marry a plain man so we could all be together...
If Momma was married
We'd live in a house
As private as private can be
Just Momma, three ducks, five canaries,
A mouse, two monkeys, one father, six turtles
And me...
If Momma was married
JUNE
If Momma was married
I'd jump in the air
And give all my toe shoes to you
I'd get all those hair ribbons
Out of my hair
And once and for all
I'd get Momma out too...
If Momma was married
LOUISE
Momma, get out your white dress
You've done it before
JUNE
Without much success!
LOUISE & JUNE
Momma, God speed and God bless
We're not keeping score
What's one more or less
Oh, Momma, say "yes"
And waltz down the hall
While you may
LOUISE
I'll gladly support you
I'll even escort you...
JUNE
And I'd gladly give you away
LOUISE & JUNE
Oh, Momma, get married today!
JUNE
If Momma was married there wouldn't be anymore
"Let me entertain you
Let me make you smile!
I will do some kicks!
Ooooh!"
LOUISE
"I will do some tricks!"
JUNE
"Sing out, Louise!"
LOUISE
"Smile, Baby!"
Momma, please take our advice
We aren't The Lunts
JUNE
I'm not Fanny Brice
LOUISE & JUNE
Momma, we'll buy you the rice
If only this once
You wouldn't think twice
It could be so nice
If Momma got married to stay
But Momma gets married
JUNE
And...
LOUISE
Married
JUNE
And...
LOUISE
Married
LOUISE & JUNE
And never gets carried away
Oh, Momma...
Oh, Momma...
Oh, Momma...
Get married today!
TULSA
Well Louise, I'll pretend I'm getting ready for a date.
I comb my hair
Take a flower, smell it, put it in my lapel
Then I spot the audience!
Once my clothes were shabby
Tailors called me"Cabbie"
So I took a vow
Said this bum'll
Be Beau Brummel
Now I'm smooth and snappy
Now my tailor's happy
I'm the cats meow
My wardrobe is a wow!
Paris silk! Harris tweed!
There's only one thing I need...
Got my tweed crest
Got my best vest
All I need now is the girl
Got my striped tie
Got my hopes high
Got the time and the place
And I got rhythm
Now all I need is the girl to go with'm
If she'll just appear we'll
Take this big town for a whirl
And if she'll say, "My darling I'm yours"
I'll throw away
My striped tie
And my best-pressed tweed
All I really need
Is the girl.
I start off easy
And now I'm more debonair...
Break!
And I settle here... I start this step
Build it... And double it!
Then she appears in white, I take her hand,
Kiss it and I lead her on the floor...
This step's good for the costume... Astaire's pat!
Dah dah dah dah...Dah dah dah dah yah dah...
Now we waltz, springs come in
And I lift her...Again... One more time!
And the tempo changes and all the lights come up
And I build for the grand finale
Oh that's it
Louise!
Come on over here...
Now faster! Charleston ... That's it! One more time
Follow me, grab my hand!
(Laughs)
ROSE
I'm gonna make you a star!
I'm gonna build a whole new act, all around you
It's going to be better than we ever did before
Better than
anything we even dreamed,
Look at that new star Herbie,
She's going to be beautiful,
She is beautiful!
Finish? We're just beginning and there's no stopping us this time!
I had a dream, a dream about you, baby.
It's gonna come true, baby.
They think that we're through, but baby
You'll be swell! You'll be great!
Gonna have the whole world on a plate!
Starting here, starting now,
Honey, everything's coming up roses!
Clear the decks! Clear the tracks!
You've got nothing to do but relax.
Blow a kiss. Take a bow.
Honey, everything's coming up roses!
Now's your inning, stand the world on its ear!
Set it spinning! That'll be just the beginning!
Curtain up! Light the lights!
You got nothing to hit but the heights!
You'll be swell, you'll be great.
I can tell. Just you wait.
That lucky star I talk about is due!
Honey, everything's coming up roses for me and for you!
You can do it, all you need is a hand.
We can do it, Mama is gonna see to it!
Curtain up! Light the lights!
We got nothing to hit but the heights!
I can tell, wait and see.
There's the bell! Follow me!
And nothing's gonna stop us 'til we're through!
Honey, everything's coming up roses and daffodils
Everything's coming up sunshine and Santa Claus!
Everything's gonna be bright lights and lollipops!
Everything's coming up roses for me and for you!
Madame Rose's Toreadorables
ROSE
Are you ready Louise?
LOUISE
Yes, Momma
ROSE
Ready girls?
GIRLS
Yes, Madame Rose
ROSE
Now don't let the past discourage you
Remember, you're artists of the theater
Madame Rose's Toreadorable
Sing out!
GIRLS
Extra! Extra!
Hey look at the headline
Historical news is being made
Extra! Extra!
They're drawing a red line
Around the biggest scoop of the decade
A barrel of charm
A fabulous thrill
The biggest little headline
In Vaudeville
ROSE
Sell it, sell it!
GIRLS
Presenting
In person
That five foot five
Barrel of dynamite
Señorita Louise!
LOUISE
Ole everybody!
My name's Louise
What's yours?
ROSE
Ah, that's coming along...
ROSE
You got Herbie for brains,
We got you for talents
And you both got me
To yell at!
Wherever we go, whatever we do,
We're gonna go through it together.
We may not go far, but sure as a star,
Wherever we are, it's together.
Wherever I go I know he goes.
Wherever I go I know she goes.
No fits, no fights, no feuds
And no egos, amigos, together!
Through thick and through thin,
All out or all in.
And whether it's win
HERBIE
Place
LOUISE
Or show
ROSE
With you for me
And me for you,
We'll muddle through whatever we do.
Together, wherever we go.
ROSE, LOUISE & HERBIE
Wherever we go, whatever we do,
We're gonna go through it together.
ROSE
Wherever we sleep, if prices are steep
HERBIE
We'll always sleep cheaper together.
ROSE
Whatever the boat I row, you row.
HERBIE
A duo
ROSE
Whatever the row I hoe, you hoe.
LOUISE
A trio
ROSE
And any I.O.U., I owe you-oh's?
HERBIE
Who, me-oh? No, you-oh.
LOUISE
No, we-oh.
ROSE, LOUISE & HERBIE
Together!
We all take the bow
ROSE
Including the cow
ROSE, LOUISE & HERBIE
Though business is lousy and slow.
ROSE
With Herbie's vim, Louise's verve
LOUISE & HERBIE
Now all we need is someone with nerve.
ROSE
Hmm,
Together
LOUISE & HERBIE
Together
ROSE
Wherever
LOUISE & HERBIE
Wherever
ROSE
Together, wherever
ROSE, LOUISE & HERBIE
Together, wherever we go.
ROSE
If I start to dance
LOUISE & HERBIE
We both start to dance
And sometimes by chance we're together
ROSE
If I sing B flat
Aaaah!
LOUISE & HERBIE
We both hit be flat
Aaaah!
HERBIE
We all can be flat
Aaaah!
ROSE, LOUISE & HERBIE
Together
ROSE
Whatever the trick we can do it
We're team
We're bound to get through it
There really isn't anything to it
You do it
I knew it
LOUISE & HERBIE
We do it
Together
HERBIE
When the audience boos
LOUISE
We won't drop our cues
ROSE
We always can use what they throw
The fruit may fly
But why complain?
ROSE, LOUISE & HERBIE
Tomato sauce goes great with jamming
ROSE
Together
HERBIE & LOUISE
Together
ROSE
Whe-he-he-herever
HERBIE & LOUISE
Whe-he-he-herever
ROSE, LOUISE & HERBIE
Together, wherever we go!
Take it from me
To be a stripper
All you need to have
Is no talent
MAZEPPA
You'll pardon me,
But to have no talent
Is not enough
What you need is an idea
Something that's gonna make your strip special!
You can pull all the stops out
Till they call the cops out
Grind your behind till you're bend.
But you gotta get a gimmick
If you wanna get a hand.
You can sacrifice your sacharo
Working in the back row.
Bump in a dump till you're dead.
Kid you gotta get a gimmick
If you wanna get ahead.
You can uh...You can uh...
You can uh...uh...uh...
That's how Burlesque was born.
So I uh...and I uh...
And I uh...uh...uh...
But I do it with a horn...
Once I was a Schleppa,
Now I'm Miss Mazeppa,
With my revolution in dance.
You gotta have a gimmick
If you wanna have a chance!
ELECTRA
She can uh... She can uh...
She can uh...uh...uh...
They'll never make her rich.
Me, I uh... and I uh...
And I uh...uh...uh...
But I do it with a switch.
I'm electrifying
And I'm not even trying.
I never had to sweat to get paid
'Cause if you got a gimmick
Gypsy girl, you got it made.
TESSIE TURA
All them uh and then uh...
And that uh...uh...uh...
Ain't gonna spell success.
Me, I uh... and I uh...
And I uh...uh...uh...
But I do it with finesse.
Uh…
Uh…
Uh… uh…
Tessie Tessie Tura is so much more than purer
Than all them other ladies because-
You gotta get a gimmick
If you wanna get applause.
ALL
Do something special
Anything special
And you'll get better because
Come on and just do mimic
When you gotta gimmick
Take a look how different we are!
Oh yeah!
ELECTRA
If you wanna make it,
Twinkle while you shake it.
TESSIE TURA
If you wanna grind it,
Wait till you refined it.
MAZEPPA
If you wanna stump it,
Bump it with a trumpet!
ALL
Get yourself a gimmick and you too,
Can be a star!
Come on,
Get a music to the conductor
You better stand by me for the light use
I just hope you know what you're doing
ROSE
Lucky, you're a man who likes children
Lucky, I'm a woman with children
Funny, isn't it?
Small and funny
I'll take this to the conductor,
Just remember, you're a lady
And you're going to be a star!
LOUISE
Momma?
I'm pretty!
I'm a pretty girl, Momma!
M.C.
The Wichita, one and only burlesque theater, presents
GYPSY
Momma?
M.C.
Miss Gypsy Rose Lee
GYPSY
Let me entertain you
Let me make you smile
ROSE
Sing out, Louise!
GYPSY
Let me do a few tricks
Some old and then some new tricks
I'm very versatile
And if you're real good
I'll make you feel good
I'd want your spirit to climb
Let me entertain you
We'll have a real good time,
Yes sir!
We'll have...
A real good time!
THEATER MANAGER
Do something!
ROSE
Damn it!
THEATER MANAGER
Take something off!
GYPSY
Momma!
ROSE
A glove!
But say something!
GYPSY
Hello everybody!
My name is Gypsy Rose Lee...
What's yours Sir?
Mr. Conductor, if you please!
So, let me entertain you...
And we'll have a real good time, yes sir!
We'll have...
A real good time!
M.C.
And now, Minsky's well famous Burlesque
Presents the queen of the strip-tease, the incomparable,
Miss Gypsy Rose Lee and our salutes to the Garden of Eden!
GYPSY
Pick up your apples girls and back to the trees!
Bonsoir, monsieur et monsieur!
Je m'appelle Gypsy Rose Lee
And that concludes my entire performance in French,
I've been too busy learning Greek
Where were you last night?
Some men accused me of being an enthusiast
Do you know what that means? Do you?
Do you? Oh, you do!
Aha! He's embarrassed!
Don't be embarrassed... I like man without hair!
An enthusiast is one who or that which
Sheds its skin in vulgar paroles: a stripper
But I'm not a stripper!
At these prices I'm an enthusiast!
And if you're real good
I'll make you feel good
I want you spirit to climb
Let me entertain you
And well have a real good time, yes, sir!
We'll have...
A real good time!
ROSE
Here she is, boys!
Here she is, world!
Here's Rose!
Curtain up!
Light the lights!
Play it, boys!
Ya either got it, or ya ain't.
And, boys, I got it!
Ya like it?
Well, I got it!
Some people got it and make it pay.
Some people can't even give it away.
This people's got it
and this people's spreadin' it around!
You either have it
or you've had it!
Hello, everybody! My name is Rose! What's yours?
How do you like them eggrolls, Mr. Goldstone?
Hold your hats and hallelujah.
Mama's gonna show it to you.
Ready or not, shhh, here comes Mama.
Mama's talkin' loud.
Mama's doin' fine.
Mama's gettin' hot.
Mama's goin' stong.
Mama's movin' on.
Mama's all alone.
Mama doesn't care.
Mama's lettin' loose.
Mama's got the stuff.
Mama's lettin' go.
Mama?
Mama's got the stuff.
Mama's gotta move.
Mama's gotta go.
Mama? Mama?
Mama's gotta let go.
Why did I do it?
What did it get me?
Scrapbooks full of me in the background.
Give 'em love and what does it get ya?
What does it get ya?
One quick look as each of 'em leaves you.
All your life and what does it get ya?
Thanks a lot and out with the garbage,
They take bows and you're battin' zero.
I had a dream.
I dreamed it for you, June.
It wasn't for me, Herbie.
And if it wasn't for me
then where would you be,
Miss Gypsy Rose Lee?
Well, someone tell me, when is it my turn?
Don't I get a dream for myself?
Starting now it's gonna be my turn.
Gangway, world, get off of my runway!
Starting now I bat a thousand!
This time, boys, I'm taking the bows and
everything's coming up Rose!
Everything's coming up roses!
Everything's coming up roses
this time for me!
For me! For me! For me! For me! For me!
For me! Yeah!
ROSE
I was...trying out for you...New ideas you might wanna use...
GYPSY
You really would have been something, momma!
ROSE
Do you think so?
GYPSY
If you had someone to push you like I had...
ROSE
If I could have been...I would have been...
And that's show business!
I guess I did it for me...
GYPSY
Why, momma?
ROSE
Just wanted to be noticed...
GYPSY
Like I wanted you to notice me!
I still do, momma!
It's OK, momma! OK, Rose!
ROSE
See... You look like you should speak French!
GYPSY
You're coming to that party with me...
ROSE
No!
GYPSY
Come on!
ROSE
Not like this.
GYPSY
Wear my fur I have a stole in my cabinet.
ROSE
Well, maybe just for an hour or two...Hey, it looks better on me than it
does on you. Funny how we can both wear the same size!
GYPSY
Specially in mink.
ROSE
You know... I had a dream last night. There was a big poster of a mother
and daughter, like the covers of the ladies magazines...
GYPSY
Yes, momma!
ROSE
Only it was you and me wearing exactly the same gowns. It was an add for
Minsky, and the headline said: "MADAM ROSE... AND HER DAUGHTER GYPSY".
